Don't fall again
by flagma
Summary: this was written for the Let's write Sherlock challenge Challenge 1: After a nearly disastrous case, Sherlock and John share a tense taxi ride back to Baker Street. With emotions running high, they finally arrive back at 221B, and then… John was angry at Sherlock and Sherlock could not figure out why.
1. Chapter 1

Let's write Sherlock

Challenge 1: After a nearly disastrous case, Sherlock and John share a tense taxi ride back to Baker Street. With emotions running high, they finally arrive back at 221B, and then…

Sherlock was watching the streets fly by from the backseat of the taxi. Next to him John was looking out the opposite window, back to Sherlock. John was angry with him and Sherlock could not understand why.

The case had been boringly predictable. The husband was killed by his wife's lover; it was so predictable it would verge on cliché. The unusual part was that he was supposedly killed in a locked room with no exists, which, in reality, was the wife locking the room after her lover killed her husband. Dull. The only exciting part was finding her lover; it led to a chase around London ending in a fight in a warehouse. After the fight which ended in John knocking the man out John had been acting straggly. After dealing with the Lestrade, promising to go to Scotland Yard the next day to fill out witness statements, he hailed a taxi to 221B Baker Street.

"John…" Sherlock started

The taxi pulled to a stop outside 221 Baker Street and John jumped out, opened the door and stormed upstairs while Sherlock scrambled out of the cab, throwing money at the taxi driver. When he got upstairs he found John in the kitchen making tea. He took off his coat and scarf and stoop in the kitchen doorway.

"John…" Sherlock started again

"Not now Sherlock, I can't," John paused running his fingers though his hair "…just not now"

"You're angry?" Sherlock was confused. He could not understand what happened to make John angry.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why, why do you think? Do you really think what you did wouldn't hurt me?"

Sherlock turned and flopped down on the couch and went into his customary 'thinking pose.' Something he had done had hurt John. That thought settled uncomfortably on his chest. Recently, ever since his 'return' whenever he made John angry it would feel like a heavy weight was on his chest and he didn't like it. Sherlock had been doing his best not to make John angry so he wouldn't get this feeling, which was distracting, but he still sometimes managed to do something 'not good' and get the army doctor mad. He thought about it and realised the reverse was also true. Whenever John was happy with him and smiled at him his chest would feel very light and so unconsciously was trying to do more things to make his friend smile.

Sherlock thought back through the day to think what he could have done to make John angry. He didn't eat breakfast this morning; no he did that often and wouldn't make sense for John to be angry over a little thing like that. The eyes in the fridge, no they had been clearly labelled and set on the bottom shelf as per the agreement they made after the fingers in the butter dish. Sherlock went through a few more of the morning events and concluded that they were normal (normal for them) so dismissed them for being the cause of Johns anger.

The case then, it was the only other thing that had happened. He thought of what he could have done to anger John there. He hadn't had work and had made no plans so he wasn't taking him away from anything. He thought some more and went thought the day's events.

When they got to the crime scene they were let under the tape and entered the house making straight to where the body was. It was obvious that the man had been strangled to death then stabbed repeatedly. Anderson being an idiot said something about it being the wife. Sherlock then berated him calling him an imbecile asking how he even managed to get that far in life being so stupid. (Sherlock considered briefly id this was what got John angry but quickly dismissed the idea. Anderson was an idiot and only an idiot couldn't see that. John was most definitely not an idiot.) After that he told Lestrade that it was obvious that it was the wife's lover. The husband had come home early to surprise his wife but found her with another. The lover having a wife of his own killed the husband when he threatened to reveal the affair. He choked the man with the dressing gown cord (which was why the strangle marks were going up from the pull of the taller man rather than down that it would have if it were the wife,) he grabbed a knife and proceed to stab the man to ensure his death and ran away with both cord and knife. The wife having witnesses this locked the door and has waited around an hour before calling the police. After his explanation he caught John whispering "amazing." Under his breath (so he wasn't angry then Sherlock surmised.)

There was nothing left at the scene but there was the h to find. Eventually they had tracked him down to an old warehouse. Sherlock suggested splitting up to search but John firmly denied and Sherlock couldn't be bothered to argue. He had just heard a noise from above and had shot up the stairs to apprehend the killer. The man was bulky and taller than Sherlock. He also had a knife which was still stained with the husbands' blood. John had smartly decided to go up the other stairs trapping the man. He didn't expect the man to go down without a fight so wasn't surprised when the man lunged for him. Sherlock stepped to the side easily but didn't account for the moment of the man and wash nearly pushed off the catwalk. S it was he managed to grab on to the safety rail and eventually haled himself up. Meanwhile John had tackled the killer to the ground (Sherlock paused his thoughts thinking of how many idiots there were who always underestimated John. At least he knew how brilliant John actually was. (There was that funny feeling in his chest again)) John was panting and before Sherlock could say anything Lestrade who he had called before entering the warehouse (John insisted) had arrived. Since then they had return to Baker Street.

Sherlock had opened his eyes to realise it was dark out and that John was sitting in his chair with a newspaper on his lap. He was pretending to read it but Sherlock knew none of the articled held his attention.

"Something I did in the warehouse made you angry." Sherlock turned his head to look at John.

"Yes" John said putting down his paper

"What?" Sherlock asked

"Haven't you figured it out yourself?" John snorted picking up the paper

"No that's why I'm asking" Sherlock looked at Johns stunned expression "I have made you angry and I would like to know why"

So I don't do it again, Sherlock didn't add.

"You should have just let me deal with the thug, isn't that what I'm there for shooting people trying to kill you," John said bitterly "oh and saying how brilliant you are."

"NO!" Sherlock quick jumped up and strode to Johns chair kneeling between Johns legs (noting John turn red) and placed his hands on Johns' knees.

"yes you do those things but I bring you with me, because you need it, you need London, you need the thrill and the chase," noting the look on Johns face Sherlock added "and I need you with me, you tell me when I am 'a bit not good' and well I would be lost without my blogger." Sherlock looked up into Johns eyes and smiled.

"Ah...well…umm…thanks Sherlock I needed to hear that." John stuttered and made to get up but Sherlock kept him pinned. "What?"

"Why were you angry with me?" Sherlock asked sounding genuinely confused.

"When you fell over the rail, before I saw you right yourself, all I could see was you on the floor, blood pooling out of your head, eyes dead and this time it wouldn't be a trick, I would louse you again and it hurt Sherlock. It was like the fall again and again I couldn't do anything to stop you. I tackled that guy because I thought that because of him I had lost you again. Then afterwards you just stood there didn't say anything, didn't apologise for making me think you would fall again. It hurt me Sherlock."

"John I…" Sherlock stopped and swallowed, feeling something at the back of his throat " John I am sorry that I made you worry, I cannot say I won't do it again, I know that I will but know this, I ever make you worry like that ever again know that I am sorry and I do not do so with that intent."

After that little speech, John was staring at him open-mouthed.

"Thank you Sherlock," John sat there still stunned "was that what you were thinking over all afternoon, why I was angry"

"Of course, what else…" Sherlock was going to say more but was cut off by John pulling him up and bringing their lips together.

The kiss was sweet; a gentle sliding of lips which Sherlock melted into, John then tentatively ran his tongue over Sherlock's lower lip. This caused Sherlock to moan, letting Johns tongue into his mouth. Suddenly Sherlock was thrown to the floor where he fell on his arse looking at John confused.

"Oh god oh god Sherlock I'm so sorry" John was panicking jumping from his seat "Sherlock I didn't mean, shit, I'm sorry just delete it." John then bottled upstairs to his room and slammed his door shut.

Sherlock placed his fingers on his lips remembering the kiss. He enjoyed it. Despite what everyone thought he wasn't a virgin and had some experience in most sexual matters but he experienced them for the facts and never found enjoyment in them. Until now. That one kiss was better than anything he had ever experienced, better than cocaine. The kiss also helped explain the effect John was having on him. When John was happy it would make Sherlock feel better and he would do anything he could do to keep him that way. When John was angry or upset Sherlock tries to get rid of what makes him feel that way of if it is something he has done he actually changes his behaviour (something that he has done for no one before.)

He thinks about his reactions to John's presence. He is always aware of Johns' presence now days, his pulse elevates if in close proximity. Sherlock quickly stood up and looked in the mirror. Dilated pupils, well that proves it. All this together with the feeling he is experiencing of John, Sherlock can conclude that he is in love. With John. Sherlock Holmes is in love with John Watson. Sherlock at first despaired, not that he was in love, but who he was in love with, and he was in love with his straight best friend. _Straight best friend who had just kissed him _his mind brought up. Was it possible that John felt the same? It was possible since John was the one to kiss him. However he was also the one who pushed him away. Sherlock pondered what he should do. Would he really risk his only friend for a chance of a relationship with the only person he could think he could be with? It would be dangerous risk. Sherlock grinned and headed upstairs to John's room.


	2. Chapter 2

Sherlock knocked on the door before opening it not bothering to wait to be let in, he knew John would tell him to go away. John was curled up on top of his bed facing away from the door. John tensed when Sherlock entered so he knew he was awake. Sherlock kicked the door closed and waited for John.

John felt mortified. He had ruined everything. Just because Sherlock had been trying to make him feel better, like friends should do, he had gone and ruined it by kissing him. He felt so stupid, Sherlock actual apologises and John thanks him by snogging him despite Sherlock not being interested. God he just wanted to curl up and die. Why was Sherlock here now? Did he want him to leave? To kick him out? Cut him out of his life? To say that he isn't interested in relationships so John should just leave. Would he be back to how he was before Sherlock or how he was in the three years of his death? No it would be worse because he had known Sherlock and if he was kicked out he would know he was still alive and want nothing to do with him. He wondered if Sherlock would just delete it, John could continue living with him, looking from afar and he wondered if that would be better or worse knowing Sherlock would not feel the same but still being near him. His heart felt like it was being griped in a vice. There was no good way out of this, either way John was going to be hurt. He thought he might as well get it over with.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." John was barely audible and still was facing the other way. He could face, not when he was rejecting him.

"Done what John?" John felt angry, why was Sherlock mocking him, he already hurt enough.

"Kissed you" John whispered trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Then why did you?" Sherlock asked, not moving.

Surprising to John it did not sound like he was angry, but he had learnt not to get his hopes up.

Sherlock was irritated when John didn't answer him, just curled in more into himself.

"John"

John said something that Sherlock couldn't catch, so he strode over to the bed and sat down.

"Why did you kiss me?" he asked trying to get a glimpse of johns face.

"BECASUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU BLODDY IDIOT!" John exploded, finally turned to face Sherlock who was surprised to find that he was crying

"Why are you crying?" Sherlock was confused John having feeling for him was a good thing.

"Because I am fucking in love with you and you done feel the same way, Mr 'married to his work' and I just kissed you so your either you're going to forget it ever happened and I will stupidly continue to pine for you or you would find be disgusting kick me out and I would be left to back how I was before I met you, worse because I would have known you and I can't go back to that." when he had finished John buried his head in his pillow shoulders heaving with silent sobs not caring how pitiful he looked because he hurt so much.

"Actually there is another option" Sherlock commented and made a show of not looking at John when he quickly turned to look back at Sherlock.

"What other option is there, you so disgusted you get Mycroft to make me disappear so there is no chance of ever meeting." John said bitterly.

Sherlock gave him a look, _don't be ridiculous John,_ and John couldn't tell if it was for suggesting he should disappear, never meet Sherlock again or the suggestion that Sherlock would go to Mycroft for help. It made him feel a little better before he got kicked out of the flat. I _'I will have to stay with Harry for a while'_ he thought off topic.

"We could kiss," Sherlock turned gauging John's reactions "since I have been feeling strong feeling of love towards you ever since my return I would say that is the better option"

Sherlock was expecting a kiss or at least some joy to be shown on his face, what he wasn't expecting was anger and a punch in the face. So surprised Sherlock fell off the bed and landed on his arse for the second time that day.

"You think this is some fucking joke!" John hurt. His was much, much worse than he had ever imagined. Sherlock was mocking him like this. Maybe it was better to disappear.

"No I thought it was a confession of mutual attraction." Sherlock was rubbing his cheek form where he was punched, it hurt more than the one he revived when he came back.

"Well it sounds like your mocking me."

"I'm not; I have been experiencing strong feelings of attraction for you."

"And you only just realised this" John meant this as an accusation but then realised it was probably true, Sherlock wasn't the best at expressing emotion he knew, and from the look in Sherlock's eyes he wasn't lying "you really only just then, realised that you feel attracted to me"

"I was aware of how my body reacted to you since I came back after …well, I only realised it was …love… when you kissed me," Sherlock paused for a moment then continued " however attraction must have started early on because I have been changing my behaviour to please you ever since we met."

"How have you changed your behaviour?" John asked, as far as he could tell Sherlock has always been somewhat of an arrogant prick on his best days.

"I use to be much worse"

"Oh god I don't even want to know," John smiled, he couldn't believe that not only did Sherlock didn't hate him and even seemed to feel the same way "you said you were married to your work"

"You are a big part of my work, an inseparable part of it actually" Sherlock sat on the bed and cautiously put his hand on John's cheek. John responded by placing one of his hands on top of it, not moving it and idly rubbing his thumb over the back of Sherlock's hand.

"Do you really…love me?" John asked staring into Sherlock eyes.

"Yes" Sherlock replied, just before John lunged forward pulling him into a rough kiss.

John's hands went to the back of Sherlock's head, running his fingers through his thick curls. One of Sherlock's hands went to the back of John's neck, the other sliding down to grope at Johns arse, pulling him flush with Sherlock. They groaned at the contact. Sherlock took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue into John's mouth causing the other to groan again. John's hands had slipped from Sherlock's hair and now were gripping onto his shoulders, clinging to him.

"Sherlock wait…/pant/ I've never been with a man before." John pushed Sherlock away just far enough to breathe.

Sherlock smirked ad pushed John down flat on the bead before crawling on top of him.

"Don't worry," he purred "I'll show you."

Sherlock ripped off Johns' jumper and shirt then quickly freed himself of his own. His fingers trailed down Johns' chest stopping at Johns' nipples to give them a quick pinch. John groaned at the contact, and then blushed. Sherlock's smile grew wider as he lowered his head and took one into his mouth while his other had moved to give the other equal treatment.

"Jesus Christ, Sherlock!" John was gasping and writhing under Sherlock touch.

Sherlock stopped and reached over to the draw where he knew where the lube and condoms were. He quick uncapped the bottle and lubes up his fingers. Sherlock started to circle john's entrance. Sherlock lent over and whispered in john's ear.

"You must relax." Sherlock murmured.

John whimpered "Sherlock, please"

"Please what?" Sherlock asked.

"Sherlock please…fuck me."

Without needing to be asked twice, Sherlock gently eased a finger into his tight hole. John bit his lip trying to stop a groan. Sherlock added another finger and started to feel for that spot. When he felt John stiffen and clamp down on his fingers he pressed down on that spot again and John could not hold back the moan. Sherlock started to scissor his fingers, opening John up, preparing him for something bigger. John was gasping, moving hips in time with Sherlock's fingers to get him to hit that spot again.

"Sherlock, now, please" John was writhing fucking himself on Sherlock's fingers.

Sherlock removed his fingers and tore the condom from the wrapper, putting it on and adding more lube. John spread his legs more, trying to give Sherlock better access while Sherlock positioned himself in between johns' legs, pressing his cock against his entrance. Slowly he entered John, looking at his face for any signs of discomfort or pain. Sherlock continued to enter John until he was flush with john's hips and waited for John to adjust.

Jon felt weird. He was full and slightly uncomfortable, he wasn't sure if he liked it. Sherlock stared to move pulling out slightly and then back, pushing in at different angles trying to find that spot again. John groaned and arched his back trying to drive Sherlock's cock further into him, all thoughts of discomfort gone, overwhelmed by the feelings' of pleasure. Sherlock smirked and wrapped johns' legs around his waist and stared to pound johns' arse, continually hitting johns' prostate every time. John could do nothing but hold on, wrapping his legs tighter around Sherlock's waist and fisting the sheets. The only things he could say were variations of "fuck", "Sherlock" and "oh god more" and it wasn't long before he was on edge.

"Sherlock I'm going to cum" John gasped.

"Then cum, cum for me John." Sherlock leaned over and whispered in johns' ear as he continued to furiously fuck John arse not letting up s John had no choice but to cum, getting lost in pleasure. When john came back to himself it was just in time to see Sherlock lost in his own pleasure groaning out john's name.

Once Sherlock was finished he pulled out and went to the bathroom to throw out the used condom. When he came back to johns bedroom he was surprised to see that he was now under the covers but back in the position he had first found him in, curled up and facing the wall.

"John?" Sherlock was worried, this wasn't right. This was not how it was meant to end. Sherlock was wondering what was wrong. Did he hurt John? Did he read John wrong and he didn't want him? Did he only want a quick and easy shag? These thoughts raced through his mind and unbeknownst to him similar thought were going through johns mind.

"I'm fine Sherlock that was great, brilliant; umm it's fine if you want to go." John felt stupid what did he expect from Sherlock; of course he didn't want to hug or be close to someone, even if they had just had sex. Sherlock probably only wanted to have sex, a friends with benefits, and if he did how would he cope, he would be able to. Of course Sherlock wouldn't want him; he was just plain, boring John Watson.

"Do you want me to go" Sherlock struggled to get the words out.

"No," John couldn't be bothered to lie, not to his genius flatmate "but you don't do this so you can leave, also can you just delete this ever happened"

Sherlock heart clenched at these words until he listened to what John had said again

"You don't want me to leave but you want me to delete the fact we have had sex." Sherlock was confused, it didn't make sense, but then again John never made sense.

"I can't just be a convenient shag to you Sherlock!" John sat up and turned to face Sherlock.

"You're not," realisation came to Sherlock "you're not a convenient shag, I have told you that I am attracted to you and actually it is more than that."

Sherlock walked over to John took hold of his hands, looking in johns eyes.

"I love you John, I love you more than anything, more than the work, and I cannot function without you. I want you to stop bringing those horrible women home, stop going on dates unless it's with me. I will be possessive and I will still put myself in danger because of the work, but I want to be with you." Sherlock said not looking away from John.

John listened to the speech and couldn't keep the grin off his face.

"well I better stay close to you if you are not going to stay out of danger," John licked his lips unsure if he should continue _fuck it _he thought "I would want my boyfriend to go get himself killed"

Sherlock stiffened in surprise and John though he made a mistake, wished he could take back those words. Then Sherlock smiled and dragged John in for a kiss. Unlike the others there was no hot fire behind the kiss. It was sweet and chaste but was filled with love.

"Yes," Sherlock said, not bothering to clarify what he meant, John would know, of course he would "so do I still have to leave and delete this."

"Don't you dare." John hugged Sherlock, burying his face into his neck peppering it with kisses. Sherlock chuckled and pulled them both down and got them under the covers.

"Tomorrow you're moving to my bed, it's bigger and my sheets are a better quality." Sherlock stated.

"Do I get a choice?" John asked resting his head on Sherlock's shoulder

"No, my bed is better anyway"

John just laughed.

_Finally _they both thought as they each drifted off to sleep.


End file.
